The First Impression

The well-known phrase often quoted as "The first impression is the last impression" does seem to hold good for a lot of people. And such people tend to be ardent and easily biased by nature! That is what I feel..

To perceive and form an opinion at the first instance, is a human tendency. Intellects merely try to observe & analyze if that perception turns out to be true in reality. A person may be able to judge another in a short span but it's human nature which make things unpredictable and can strike off the perception built. Mere actions, reactions, or words spoken, in a particular situation is judged; well, it proves like a test being conducted rather than a truth', it charts the movement 'from first impressions and prejudice, to reflections and revisions'.

A genuine smile, a kind gaze, an honest expression of words or perhaps, a silent nod. Perhaps, these are some of the vision fragments that human nind barely captures as the memories of the First Impression!

P.S. Typed this post a decade back and published only now! I wonder, what held me back from doing so, back then 😊

Passion and profession

Its a question hovering my mind off late and I even talked about it and it still remains a question :)

I like my profession. But, that doesn't make it a passion of mine. I like to work and have even seen myself as a workaholic and still this is not the utmost thing I enjoy. It's surely a mode of income and I have been looking at my career path based on my interest of line.

With experiments and change of work profile, I did progress and have been doing exactly what I pursued for. I have spent a decade and now, the question on my mind has emerged strongly to the extent that I cannot ignore it. Well, what's the question?

Is my passion what I am pursuing as a profession? Can I turn my passion into profession? People pursue their passion and are creative and turn it into a profession eventually. There are ways to be creative and come up with wonderful ideas of how to make the most out of it when one loves to spend so much time doing what they love to. And of course, the dedication, practice, perfection tags along.

Now, with income factor to consider, let's say I would like to give up the current line of work. Can I turn my passion into profession? Perhaps yes. Am I ready or at a level to make it happen? No, and I have no answer for it at this moment.

Anything that adds pressure and stress, makes me run away from it. I love to act with a free will and shall continue to do so for rest of my lifetime.

I still continue to search that one purpose of my life. Something I would feel content and would love to keep doing it, improvise and not see it as an element of stress.

The search remains..

The moment

I call it a moment,
When a child with tearful eyes looks at another one
and let's out a broken smile..
To realize that you're not alone;
A sense of belief - Yes, it's the moment.

Those holidays spent at grandparent's;
Being loved and cuddled with stories makes to yearn.
Words of wisdom spoken in deep voice
and those watchful experienced eyes.
The soul yearns to return to that one place on Earth; It's the moment.

Sitting under the old Banyon tree, those afternoons of summer holidays of childhood;
To think of utter truth and gushed realizations of own existence and those of surroundings.
With swelled heart and flooded conscience, it feels euphoric
Still unknown at that age and yet..it was a moment.

With eyes all glued, heart beats louder to own ears,
a few skipped ones maybe, the age of adolescence
Each look and every move with springed feet
Acting all stupid yet, feels World conquering - It was the moment.

I call it the moment with a wide grin
To look up to mom and dad, with a feel of pride
To look someone in the eyes with captivating smile
The most wonderful feeling is to take a sway in silence with World narrowed down just to the one with you.

Momentary instances

I stood there at the bus stand, staring down - at nothing. My eyes searched for something. It wasnt the eyes; my mind was actually looking for answers to the questions, which I don't have yet. In such a phase as this, I wonder about the way I wander, looking for things that are materialistic or spiritual or philosophical which might add values and make sense to the physical self and towards soul searching. Although, it gets filtered as per my outlook and approach towards life. It's a leverage acquired from the so called self independence, indulgence and determination  accumulated over the span of years.

Effort put forth, struggle made through, pain borne goes without a word because such things tend to be part of self realizations, possibly as memories to savour and smile about the gone days and what made the person as who it is, today. Body forgets the physical pain and so does the sad memories fade away from mind. But, it's the heart which may not be able to let go the fondest memories or hurt feelings. It does remind those moments of laughter with close buddies, being snuggled and wrapped in arms, stupid arguments with siblings, stressful moments during exams, interviews, when someone else make decisions that impacts your life.

Choices can be difficult, decisions can be tough and consequences might even be rough. It's upto him/her to survive and test self confidence and beliefs  about oneself whether being unbreakable or not. Life is beautiful and time tests us and every belief we hold to ourselves. What matters is, how strongly do we hold onto our ground and be tested without doubting our beliefs, which defins us as who we are. As humans, we might have regrets and those can be lots yet, it always feels good to remind oneself of how good you are to yourself by letting one to be him or herself.

Life has all its shades of being happy, sad, gloomy, excited, amazed, surprises, heart broken, friendships, tangible bonds with no definition or reasoning, family.. Life is, as it is..beautiful.

My share of doubts

Wonder if the game of puzzles play on others' mind too!
Moments when the mind wanders off
With a lost stare at people passing by and I wonder -
if similar thoughts cross their mind too?
To sit over a place silently yet, mind keeps buzzing;
Those endless list of stupid thoughts;
Questions, which cannot be asked,
Answers, which cannot be sought after-
Yet, remains in thoughts to ponder over,
I think about my share of doubts.

There are memorable instances, lived upon once -
Moments when heart skipped a beat
Ears seemed to hear absolutely nothing,
vision blurred even with wide open eyes.
Mind now casts upon a veil of those memories,
causing a smile to run across the lips.
Endless beautiful moments to cherish
Yet.. the past never repeats
and time once gone, never rewinds;
Being an optimiat, I have my share of doubts.

Times when I look at someone;
trying to capture as much into my memory box;
Then, those prolonged stare at the old pictures.
often, when I have had flashback of events
taking me back into the memory lane;
Almost, living the good times once again
even though momentarily, but happily
To know that nothing lasts forever
Hopes still form, remain and tend to flourish
And thus remain - my share of doubts.

The courtship

There always comes a situation, just too often
Between the intellectual Mind and the beautiful Heart
Like a Man and a Lady
To keep the honor, each makes a stand.

Both remain cordially within the same being
Yet, with different perspectives and outlook
More than they realize; things turn into a war
Unavoidable encounter, but sure to occur.

It's the witty and analytical Mind
with thoughts never-ending and pacing up
Always conscious, alert and judgemental;
Why can't it let the emotions through the thick skull for once?

Full of love, feelings and care, there's the Heart
naive, honest,  untamed and instantaneous;
With immense faith, why does it speed up like a moth
mesmerized towards the flame, wonders the Mind.

Attracted and impressed by each other, they always are;
A perfect blend yet with a never-ending conflict,
Both determined and true by individual nature
Creation as such gifted to humans; a bliss and a conjugal affair.

All that I wished for

To rest my head on his chest

Moments of heart out laughter;

Love to fill the heart and make appease

with all the sorrows within it.

A look of affection and longing,

to find in those eyes - the unsaid emotions.

To feel his presence being miles apart

is luck, beyond bars and conditions.

To hold his hand timeless and aimlessly 

or remain tucked under his arm

One look each time, to melt the heart like never before;

To know that he's mine and I'm his, is an outcharm.

To speak out mind and heart until there's nothing more left.

To hold him so close, yet uptight and know

with each time when heart skips a beat -

Happiness is all that I wanted and was selfish for.

All I did was to fall in love;

Yet, never to claim it.

To loose my heart knowing the risk;

To love and be loved... is all that I wished for.